God is big enough to handle our honest feelings.

Let him be the strength in your life.

I think the biggest mistake I witness is people feeling they have to rehearse and be structure when they speak to God. Yes, we MUST remain humble and respectful because he IS Holy. Please do not read me wrong. However, when I began to learn about God I suffered from a lot of things and I did not “think” they were worthy of prayer. I was angry! I felt like I could never go and say, ” God I am mad!” So I begin to withdraw. I knew I was messing up my life, but I felt like I could not pray about it because I was responsible for my actions. It was never a thought that I could be so open and honest with God about my not so loving and hateful ways. I could ask him for help! I run into a lot of believers that tell me they cannot talk to God because of what they have done, or that they do not measure up just yet. The saddest thing I hear is well let me get myself together then I will go to church, or I will begin to read my Bible. WRONG, but what has happened is people have made others feel that way. I want people that do not understand entirely that God does not view us and think on our small level. He does not see what you are but what your potential is. He wants you to petition everything in prayer. That does not exclude a thing.

God is big enough to handle our honest feelings!

He is not surprised at you. You do not shock him. What happens when you pray and pray then hear nothing? Let us face it, we have all been here. Seems like God is leaving me to drown in my mess. Then we are tempted to withdraw from him. Maybe he is so mad at us that he has turned away too? Negative, these are the times where you have to press on (a phrase recently embedded in my heart). I use to have a tendency to withdraw when I was feeling this way. From everyone and everything; I figured people had their issues. I also thought God was disappointed in me so much, and I needed to figure this out.

The only truth was I did not know the full nature of God, and I did not read my Bible. Many people do not read their Bible because honestly in your fleshy state it can seem boring. The reality is it reveals the truth we are to live in and holds an incredible amount of wisdom. Through reading different books and drawing closer to God, I have picked up some tips for pressing on when God feels like he is not there.
When you feel like God is absent, and you want to pull away…press in harder than ever to God.

 I will not make light of issues that arise in our journey of life. Who feels like reading? Going to church? God is silent, so he must be mad? False. When we pull away we make things worse for us, and he is our only comfort, he has never left our sides. God says, “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart” (Jeremiah 29: 13) this include the broken pieced of our heart as well.
 When you want to get lost in complaints, refocus on being thankful!

 We MUST find the strength to always praise and be thankful. Truthfully, even though our trials we STILL have so much to be thankful for. The key to getting through issues that arise in our lives is to be mindful of how we are thinking. The thought process is what makes us miserable and in will attract more trials. We are giving permission for more problems by focusing so much on the current ones. Changing the way we talk is also paramount. Less complaining and more thankful praises.

 A Good friend in truth!

 I am so guilty of retreating from everyone when I am experiencing hardships, and there are times when being alone is very necessary. When we are walking this journey of life and moving closer to our creator, we need the believers around to help encourage us through hard times. We need to be reminded of things that we tend to forget because of our despair.

I hope today that someone would be encouraged to be open and honest with God in your authentic form. It is truly the best way to overcome this world. God is available for every single moment of our lives. Do not forget also to thank him, and just talk to him out of appreciation for his goodness and healing love!
Love & Light,
Vita

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© JeVita Owens 2015 All Rights Reserved

Journaling: There are times life gets hard..we have to press onward.

There are times life gets hard, we get down….we have to be committed to our process; and press onward…to our forever peace.

I will say it started in May.

Feelings that I thought I had learned how to deal with became live and vibrant again. How could this be? How could I inspire everyone around me with my words and support them in love and positivity, but now I am in another emotional turbulence.

How could it be that I felt like such a loser, and pity on myself…AGAIN? God no way could this be real, because I have all the tools, and I have learned how to pray about anything. I also KNOW my truth in Christ Jesus! My deliverance. So then, why God does this stuff hurt again?

One thing through this process that I have learned is that sometimes the enemy will creep in on us, and stay in our ears. He knows our insecurities and our desires as well. I learned a long time ago to never stop praying and reading my Bible. Real talk…all my positivity began to become redundant and sound the same, it began to have little or not much of an effect on me. I allowed the problems to remain the BIGGER issue, instead of focusing on how great, mighty and BIG my God is. I was a little bit of a mess. I knew I could not give up and just hide under a rock.

I begin to feel like I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, and one night a few weeks ago I was in a conflict with a loved one. I snapped, then the same weekend I snapped again! I knew this was not the behavior that I wanted to display. This was NOT behavior that served my greatness and was NOT representation of what I was becoming. God had been molding and shaping me for a greater purpose in life. In the blink of an eye I begin to slip back in self-defeating behaviors. The pressure I was under with my everyday life, as I rebuild became too much! Or so I thought.

  
Genesis 50:20

One day while on Instagram I saw the Scripture Genesis 50:20, a scripture I had seen several times before. This particular day it resonated with me so deep. The reason for a lot of my distress was I was living in the past of pain. I was drowning in regret and wished I had made some better choice, because I was reaping what I sow. I have not fully forgiven myself, despite the fact that God had forgiven and forgotten. Even though I have turned my life over to God I still lacked trust in him. I yearn to understand why? And what if I had did this and that differently? Thinking that my life would be so much better than it currently is, how I wish circumstance were different. How could all this work out for any good? So many setbacks and I can’t figure it out. The story of Joseph set in my spirit as I read that scripture. God was showing me how we all have times when satan is placing before us situations that are meant for permanent harm, but God is the source that will take all the pain away and create in us a way it can all be good. Good for us, and good for other people. I became so excited about the story of Joseph and I began to literally see this scripture everywhere!! I knew God was letting me know it will all work out for my good. I knew that God was telling me that despite what satan placed in my way; and the fact that even sometimes I fell for it….God still has the final say and he can use it for my greatness to inspire other people. He has taken a broken little girl, and made her grow up into a beautiful woman after his heart. God has done that for me!

Philippians 4:13

Being a single parent to my children one day seemed to be hopeless. Just randomly I was driving along and the feeling of being an inadequate parent was so overwhelming. It felt so awful and I grew so sad then angry. I was feeling pressure that I never ever felt before. Even in my more broken days I always just had the attitude that I will make sure they get what they needed so just sulk it up! However, starting in May I felt like my life as a single mother will always be hopeless and with me coming up short. The pressure I could feel all on my chest. Then suddenly I heard Philippians 4:13. I’ve heard it several times before but I guess I didn’t think it could be applicable to my single mother woes in this moment. I wasn’t even sure why I was feeling this, it was new and foreign. See with all that God is helping me accomplish satan found a new way to come at me. He does that, he figures certain things we have grown passed so he presents a new fear. What better way to get me worried then thinking my children wouldn’t be cared for, or that I would never be able to provide for them. I felt like I would always be alone, come up short, and my children would suffer. That really ached. He let me know through him I can do anything AND I didn’t even have to have strength because he had enough of that for me to. What an awesome God I serve. I just have to remember to meditate on the words and pray when I feel this, not to panic. My children are blessed, they will not only remain that way; they will grow to have an abundance and become extreme givers. Speak that!

Psalm 46:10

Be still, and know he is God….sometimes when EVERYTHING in my mind is chaotic. I end the thought process with this scripture. He is God. He is my beginning and my end. Everything that I am and desire to be is to please him. I am so thankful that even though I went through a short phase of emotional turbulence; he helps me through. I learned a lot more as I leveled up! That’s what it is really about, rising to the next level in life. Shifting and changing from old ways of thinking to new ways of living.

God brought me through this experience, and when another arises I am better equipped. It’s not what you feel all the time but what his truth is and what it will always remain. I learned that when I was miserable the enemy was pleased when I began to walk in purpose I became a threat, so he has to find new ways to attack. He came from a new angle I didn’t anticipate. Foolishly I thought because I had overcame so much, that I kind of had this thing all figured out.

Sometimes it will get hard.

As we get closer to God there will be times it gets harder for us because we are no longer letting satan be the ruler over our lives, and we are excited to share the good news with everyone else too! He will get in our ear and begin to make us look at our situation as if it’s bigger than God. That is the very reason I learned how important the Holy Spirit is and the Bible Scriptures. The Scriptures are my defense; I just posted a tweet where I explained that it is so imperative that when these “thoughts” (Lies of Satan) come in our mind we fight back with the truth, and that is the word of God. In the book of Matthew 4:1-11 Jesus shows us how it is done! Satan kept attacking him, and he kept fight back with the truth until he ran away! Think on that….isn’t it how it works in real life? When a liar is confronted they run!

Sometimes it will get hard as we get closer to him, and just in general as we grow to new levels of life. It is called growing pains and it does hurt at times. You must remember to never let go of the hem of his garment. He will always be there to pick you up. I am so thankful and pleased that I am in such a beautiful mental space these days. Even through this, I knew how to allow God to pull me up.

 

Thanks for reading my journaling post!